How many of you have ever taken a road trip? Windows rolled down, radio on, a couple of bags of gas station snacks… What? Calories don’t count, there are no diets on a road trip, right?
My daughter and several friends had been planning a weekend at a lake house in NC since the early spring. Knowing we would be settled here by then, I said, “Sure, you can go.” I thought, “Well, it’s in North Carolina… how far away can it be?” Remember — I’m from New Jersey. Up there, distance is a state of mind.
We had thought it was in Hendersonville, which isn’t too far, but no, it was in Hayesville, a town right on the Georgia border. That’s about four hours each way. I know, right? But these were friends from camp, they’re all about to head off to college, they wanted one last get together, how could I say no?
Sometimes we get behind the wheel because we want to, and sometimes because we have to.
So last Friday, Liz and I got up early and drove the four hours down to Hayesville. I dropped her off, and then I turned right around and drove another four hours back to be here in time for services. I’m glad Rabbi Levin was here just in case! And then? I did the whole round trip all over again on Sunday to bring her home.
Some of you may know this, but when you’re twisting and turning and climbing and descending on the Great Smoky Mountain Expressway, you wind up with a lot of time to think about life.
After sixteen hours on the road, here’s what I learned.
1. Go at your own pace.
As I made my way onto I-40 West, the cars around me got faster and faster. Some pick-ups must have been going 80 easily through the rain. I could see them roaring up in the right lane. It was tempting to speed up and match their pace, but this was a new route for me, I wasn’t comfortable with that. Before I left, I had decided to let people go around me, that’s my comfort level.
At one point, coming down from the Nantahala National Forest, the pick up truck behind me was getting impatient. That was a two lane road with no passing zones due to all the twists and turns. As we got to a short, flatter section, he decided to pass me in a no passing zone despite cars speeding towards him. He cut back in with a few feet to spare. What was so urgent that this person would risk all of our lives in order to get wherever a few minutes earlier?
How many times do we see the people around us rushing past? Careers taking off, friends turning into couples turning into families, always onto new goals and new horizons. For some of us, our goals and dreams can take years or decades. Trying to keep up with the Schwartzes sprinting through life only leads to fatigue and disappointment.
In Ecclesiastes we read, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Patience. Take a breath. All things in good time.
2. Know when to take a break.
On our way down, Liz and I didn’t have a sense of how empty Route 23 South would be after Dillsboro. We wanted to make a stop, but hadn’t planned ahead. Being from Jersey we figured there would be rest stops and places to pull in for a bite. Turns out…
Half an hour went by and nothing. Just before we entered the forest, finally there was Dooley’s Deli in Franklin. Lesson learned! Coming back that afternoon, I made sure to stop at an Ingles in Waynesboro. Sunday was easier because I knew what to expect. Now I knew where there were places to stop and where there were not. It made a big difference.
Judaism understands the need for a regular, planned break. It’s called Shabbat. Six days a week, we toil and struggle. Six days a week, we’re in the marketplace fighting for our daily bread. On the seventh day, the day of completion, we belong to eternity.
Shabbat is a taste of the World to Come. A day when even the poorest in the shtetl had a dinner, a candle, a moment to be a king or queen. Ahad HaAm taught, “More than Jews have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews.” When we take this time once a week to break bread together here or at home, when we open the door to those looking for connection, when we gather family around the table — we pause in the midst of this increasingly digital world of rage and anxiety. There is always more to life than that. There must be, even online.
Again, take a breath. Remember how to be analog in the digital world. Shabbat is our truck stop. So pull in, get some rest, and find strength for the rest of the journey. (And don’t forget the snacks!)
3. When it rains, keep going.
One thing I’m learning about the high country is that sometimes the rains are torrential downpours. There was one heading east on I-40. The windshield wipers couldn’t keep up, so it was hard to see the road. I could only focus on the lights ahead of me. I slowed a bit and put my blinkers on for those behind me. I thought, “Ok, how long can this last? Keep going and you’ll get through it.” Nowhere to pull over, cars lined behind me, what else could I do? At least most of us were driving carefully.
Eventually, the rain started to lighten a bit, then a bit more. A few more miles, it was back to light rain and a clear path. If I had pulled over and stopped in the heaviest rain, I might have been there for who knows how long. As Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Our people wandered thirty-nine years in the desert. In this week’s portion, V’etchanan, Moses offers final words of teaching and wisdom to the people before they enter the land. The words of the Shema are given to the people this week, a kind of spiritual GPS that we can use as we move through our lives. Six words in Hebrew. We sang them earlier tonight. “Hear, O Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai alone.” This is the first prayer we teach our children, and it is the last prayer on our lips as we slip away. Like stars to the sailors, it lights our path. When the rains come, when the darkness overwhelms, we can recite this prayer to center and find ourselves again. The journey is never done. Keep calm and carry on.
4. Find your people.
When I went back on Sunday, I got to meet the rest of the girls. The love and friendship was clear on their faces. Liz’s smile made the whole trip worthwhile. Driving up through the Nantahala, she said, “Mom. These are my people.”
Make an effort to find your people. Maybe they’re old friends you’ve known forever, maybe you just met some over coffee this summer. You will find them if you look.
We are Am Echad im Lev Ehad — the Jewish people are one family with one heart. After the images of Rom and Evyatar, starving and near death, we must hold on to one another more tightly as our sons and brothers are paraded by evildoers who feel they can do so with impunity.
Tonight, let us all vow to keep hostages Rom and Evyatar in our hearts and thoughts — but also in our social media feeds to continue awareness. We need to support those who advocate for the hostages — the families and organizations on the front lines of the fight. These are our people as well.
There aren’t always easy answers. Sometimes, we take the wheel because we want to, and sometimes because we have to.
And sometimes, there is only driving through the rain at our own pace, the Shema as our constant guide, our arms around one another, knowing that one day, we will bring our children home.
Shabbat shalom.
Click here to watch this sermon on YouTube.