Have you been watching the Winter Olympics? I’ve watched what I can, but a few stories have stuck with me, and one in particular. Have you ever heard of American figure skater Alysa Liu?
In 1989, Alysa’s father, Arthur, was a 25 year-old pro-democracy activist during the Tiananmen Square protest and subsequent massacre. He was put on a most-wanted list and had to flee for his life to the U.S. Once here, he moved to the Bay Area, got a law degree, and opened his own practice.
That alone would be something. But wait. It was there that he raised five children as a single father. I can’t even imagine…
Alysa began to skate at age five, and he was there every step of the way. The training and pressure were intense — every aspect of her life and performance were controlled by coaches and her dad. In 2022, she competed in the Beijing Olympics despite needing round-the-clock protection from Chinese spies sent to intimidate her and her family. She won the bronze medal and then made a stunning announcement at the age of 16. She was retiring from skating.
Skating had become a burden, a responsibility. The joy was gone, the beauty of movement on ice synchronized to music was now leaving her drained rather than energized. After a decade of relentless training and hard work, at the peak of her career, an Olympic medal, she was stepping away.
I know what you’re thinking. Why am I telling you this story?
This week, in Parshat Terumah, we read about the technical details for building the Mishkan, the portable Sanctuary the Israelites carried through the desert, and all of its elements — including the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark was made of acacia wood covered with gold inside and out. Within it were to be kept the luchot — the holy tablets that Moshe received on Sinai directly from God. But wait, there were two sets of luchot — the first set that Moshe broke in rage upon seeing the worship of the Golden Calf and the second unbroken set. Which set was to be placed in the holy aron?
One teaching is that both were placed in the ark together.
The first set was thrown to the ground and splintered. Shards of rock served as a testimony to the tragedy of the Golden Calf, an episode we would do well to put behind us, right?
But the Talmud teaches that the shattered fragments, known in Hebrew as “shivrei luchot,” were placed right next to the pristine set. The whole and the fragments together. Rabbi Eliyahu Safran notes, “Not hidden. Not buried. Not forgotten. Instead they were restored to a place of honor, in the Holy Ark alongside the new restored Tablets.”
Why keep a remembrance of this shameful sin and rebellion? Wouldn’t it be better to bury them, throw them in the sea, deny them, and say Kaddish for them? Ah, but if we did that, what would we have learned? How would we have grown? And what would we, as a people, have merited?
Brokenness is part of life. We cannot deny it or hold it at arm’s length. It is integral to who we are. Life is loss as well as growth, hurt as well as healing. Those who have lost a loved one know that they are devastated, tzebrokhn, broken. As life moves on, even as we can heal, the break is never forgotten. It isn’t hidden. We cannot pretend that it doesn’t exist. The break is still a part of us, its existence essential to who we are.
Forgetfulness is not healing.
There is a second teaching about the shards of the tablets — some sages teach that there were actually two arks. One held the broken, one held the whole. It is well known in scripture that when Israel went to war against its enemies, they carried the ark with them into battle. And which one did they bring? In this teaching, the ark with the broken shards. Our shattered hearts, our imploded lives, our fragmented selves — these give us the strength for the battles ahead. We don’t forget what we endured, and we don’t ignore the pain.
The Chinese government, even after all their persecution of her family, recruited Alysa to be on the Chinese team this winter. She said no.
Alysa Liu came back to skating on her own terms, and she made the U.S. team once again. But this time, she made choices for herself. She chose her own music and choreography. You might not know her name, but I’m sure you’ve seen her, because she dyed her hair in black and white stripes.
She told the world she no longer cared about winning, scores, or medals. She brought the restricted girl she once was with her back onto the ice as a free, artistic, self-assured young woman. Her performance was relaxed, joyful, and moving. I encourage you to find it online, it’s beautiful. Watch the way she leaps and twirls casually and yet with breathtaking precision. Most of all, watch for the huge smile. If you have a heart, I promise, you will tear up.
And how did she do? After great scores in the technical portions, she performed an incredible free skate Thursday night to win the first U.S. gold medal in women’s individual figure skating in twenty years. And she won it on her terms, no one else’s.
Kabbalah teaches us that the ark symbolizes the human heart. God is with us — there, in our hearts, touching the most broken within us, helping each of us to remember that we should not hide from our pain.
With time and patience, prayer and effort, our fractures can heal, broken stones that become stepping stones to future greatness.
Shabbat Shalom.