If God spoke to you today and asked you to give him your most precious possession—your child—would you obey? Could you? Look, I’m a parent, I get it, every now and then you think, “maybe?” But no. It is a test I would likely fail. I know I would not have the strength to fulfill this commandment from HaShem.
And yet every year without fail, we read the Akeidah, the story of the Binding of Isaac. The ultimate test of faith. This is one of the most challenging texts in the entire bible. There is no getting around the discomfort and pain we feel as Abraham agrees to bind and slay his only son.
Think on that a moment.
The rabbis of old were just as puzzled by this story. Over centuries, it has been parsed and interpreted, turned over and analyzed. What is this troubling passage? And yet this passage sits at the heart of our understanding of our faith.
One question stands out. WHY was Abraham tested? This leads to a larger question—why are ANY OF US tested?
“Achar Hadevarim HaEleh..” “After these things.” So it begins.
The problem is, we have NO IDEA what these “things” were or when they happened. There has to be a backstory, right? This event is too important to come out of nowhere.
The Medieval commentator, Rashi, gives us two possibilities: One, “d’varim” aren’t things but words. Satan’s. In Judaism he’s the legal accuser in the heavenly court.
So it turns out that when Abraham’s son weaned and he threw a feast to celebrate, he didn’t sacrifice any animals. Satan throws this in God’s face. “This guy is your big macher down there? He’s the one you chose to start a new people? And he doesn’t have time to kill a ram or a lamb for you? Get outta here.” And God pauses. He thinks. He still believes in Abraham. “Yes, but if I asked him to sacrifice his very own son — he would do it no questions asked.” And Satan says, “Let’s see.” And Boom — we’re at the Akeidah.
Rashi then brings a second midrash, this from Bereishit Rabah. In this, the “words” are between Ishmael and Isaac instead. Ishmael is hyping himself, saying, “Hey, I was circumcised at 13 years old! I was old enough to say no, but I didn’t! You were a baby, you had no choice in the matter. My faith is stronger than yours!”
“Do you seriously mean to frighten me with your…manhood?” is Isaac’s withering reply. “If the Holy One were to say to me, ‘Sacrifice yourself to Me,’ I would do it without hesitation.” And boom — here we are again.
Years later, Rashi’s grandson, Rashbam, presented another argument. For him, “Achar Hadevarim HaEleh” referred not to something that happened years ago, but what just happened. Abraham gave up land in Canaan to King Avimelech for FOUR GENERATIONS. He was promised the ENTIRE land by God and told to kill Avimelech and his people, but he disobeyed and gave away the land. And so, it was time for a test. Boom — you guessed it — the Akeidah.
Okay, but all of these theories don’t answer the bigger question, the one that so many of us ask when our world is falling apart. “Why am I being tested? Why are you doing this to me?”
I want to be clear. God doesn’t want to harm us or cause us pain. He doesn’t plan school shootings or give you cancer. He doesn’t take loved ones. God is simply not all powerful in the natural world. As Rabbi Harold Kushner teaches, we can believe in a God who is all good, or we can believe in a God who is all powerful.
I choose to believe in a God who is all good. He can’t stop a car crash or a plane crash. He can’t stop a war. God created biology and chemistry, they can go awry. God gave man free will, and men often use it for hatred, for murder, for worse. But. If we didn’t have free will, we could no longer make a choice. We could not choose the good, and as such, we would no longer be human but merely obedient animals.
The great Medieval philosopher, Maimonides, argues that the testing isn’t for God — God already knows the outcome — the test is for US. Who will we be at the end of it? Who would Avraham become? Testing is all about bringing what he calls “Koach” into “Poel.”
Stay with me. Let’s unpack that for a minute. Koach is your potential, the possibility that something could be done. Another way to think of it is your will. You want to lose weight — that’s your koach. You want to be kinder, that’s your koach. You want a better marriage or career. Ok, great. But those things only happen if you manifest koach into what he calls “poel” — deed, the actualization and manifestation of this desire. All the desire to lose weight won’t help you if you keep bingeing on donuts. All the will to be kind is no good if you lose your temper with your children or spouse time and again. The key is deeds. Deeds that can only come AFTER we are tested.
Think of it this way. Your wants, your desires, your hopes—these are words, they are easy to say. It is by your actions that you are known. Your actions speak more loudly than your words.
Not one of us wants a test. But they come, don’t they? My God, they keep coming. Car trouble, flood damage, health issues. For Maimonides, a test can HELP YOU actualize your wants. It can transform your will, your desire, into action. But the terrible things that happen cannot be brushed off as something that just “makes us stronger.” There are dreams that won’t come true. There are often deep wells of pain.
But there can also be light.
Mark Emondson, from Sussex England, was given a year to live after a diagnosis of colon cancer. That was in 2017. He has since had 140 rounds of chemotherapy. Here are his words:
Prior to getting cancer, I had ambitions of becoming a managing director or CEO; I wanted to achieve something in my career. Within hours of the diagnosis, that disappeared. I don’t care for work any more, but I believe strongly in having a sense of purpose, something to motivate and distract you, and bring joy and satisfaction. I get that from the business I started: a support service for anyone facing adversity. If someone had said, two years into my treatment, “Do you feel able to support other people through their diagnosis?”, I would have said no way. But as time has passed I do, and I’ve spoken to more than 100 people. I love coaching and mentoring. I’ve never been happier.
I lead every session with this quote and loop back to it at the end: “It’s not what happens to us, but how we react that defines who we are.” So how do you want to be defined? Cancer or no cancer, that question should dictate how you live.
How we react defines who we are. There is no right or wrong way to respond to cancer, to tests, to loss. This is just one man’s story. But every one of us chooses how we respond to the trials in our own lives.
All of us will be tested. And guess what. After we finish one test, there will be another…and another…and yet another after that. We climb an impossible mountain only to face another mountain. And how do we do it? With God at our side, and with one another on the journey.
I believe that our God is a God who walks with us. God is with us in the suffering. Our tradition teaches us that God is with the brokenhearted and low, the humble, those who sit in the dust. God is with us in the valley of shadows. Reach out to Him. Reach out to one another. There is no other way. Alone, we are lost, buffeted by fate. Together, we survive.
Walking through fire, you are tempered into steel. Suffering a loss, your heart expands to all who suffer. Watching the love and strength of the hostage families as they seek their loved ones’ freedom is an example of the dignity and strength that can carry us through the most horrific, unthinkable situations.
According to the philosopher Nachmonides, God doesn’t even bother testing the wicked, they won’t listen or learn. They will never reach their potential. We all have seen people who are truly malign glide through life. Nothing bad ever seems to happen to them. Have you noticed that? Never held accountable, never facing consequences.
According to Ramban, That’s just part of how God handles them. They won’t get better. They won’t get stronger. Why should He waste His time with them? Scripture tells us, “God tests the righteous.” Hear that. Why does he test the righteous? He wants to temper us, to help us grow.
We can’t live wrapped in wool sitting in padded rooms. This alternative is to stop living. Like Dickens’ Miss Havisham, we could stay safe in a house of cobwebs as it crumbles. But Life happens. We change. We get stronger. We help others. We love harder. We become who we were meant to be. Without the challenges of life, we sacrifice and miss the joys. Without the tests, we are never truly who we are meant to be.
There is a well known verse in Ruth 2:12, “May God reward your ‘po-alcha’” your deeds.” This is a very clear belief of our sages as well. God doesn’t reward good thoughts, there’s no prize for good intentions. Abraham might have been faithful in his heart. But until he proved it through his deeds, he couldn’t be rewarded.
Actions speak louder than words.
We all face trials. Some of you have faced tragedies so heart breaking, it is hard to imagine how you go on. But you do. And I am in awe of you. Loss of a child. Loss of a spouse. Debilitating illness. Addiction. Divorce. Job loss. Mental health struggles. Trials which many of us may never know. At times, we want to scream, “God please choose someone else to test — we’re all booked up here. It’s too much!”
But tests are not punishments. According to the 16th century Italian commentator, Seforno, we need them so that we can imitate the Creator who also makes His will manifest in the world through reality. For Seforno, this is one of the main teachings of the entire Torah.
When our will becomes reality—when our actions follow through on the promise of our words—we are like God. When bruised hearts heal and reach out to others, we are like God. When tragedies happen, and we somehow—I do not know how—when we are somehow able to find joy, we are like God.
As we enter this new year, as we climb new mountains and face new tests, may each of us turn our words into actions, desires into deeds — of love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and beauty. Let us hold those close to us in our hearts. Like Abraham Avinu, who passed his impossible test, may the angels cry out to us from heaven, may they help us, bless us, and heal us.