“But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.”
— Antoine de Saint Exupery, The Little Prince
There are a lot of honest, trustworthy and caring people in the Bible. Think of Ruth. Or Abraham. Moses. All of them role models we have looked up to for millenia. People of humility who served Hashem and fulfilled his words. People with a deep sense of right and wrong.
This week, we have … the exact opposite. Literally one of the worst people in the Tanach. A person who is so angry, jealous, and egotistical that he brought pain and suffering upon himself, his family, and everyone around him. Who is it?
That’s right, it’s Korach, that rebellious rabble-rouser. Would you believe some rabbis are trying to rehabilitate him? True story, but that’s for another sermon.
Last year, I spoke of his unbridled jealousy when he saw his younger cousins take what he felt was his rightful place as leaders of the people. Of course, those cousins were Moses and Aaron. So why now must we hear about Korach? Because the Torah comes to teach us not only who to be but — and this is equally important. — who NOT to be!
According to Judaism, one of the worst traits that a person can have is ga’a’vah — arrogance, pride, egotism. In Proverbs 16:5 we read, “Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.”
In Jeremiah, we read, “Thus says Adonai, ‘Let not a wise man boast in his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast in his might; let not a rich man boast in his riches, but let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me.’” In other words, do not let your pride or your ego—your emotional neediness—take over your soul. The Talmud goes further and compares arrogant people and egotists with idol worshippers, a grave aveirah, sin, punishable by death. In this case, the idol is not a graven image or a golden calf—because of ego, their idols are themselves.
Now, I need to be clear here. We each need a healthy ego to function in this world. We all need to be happy with ourselves at a basic level. And we need to know that we are loved and have intrinsic value given to us by God. We need to know this about ourselves — we need to be aware and be able to function without relying on external approval.
Most of all, we need to know that we have more to learn in life. This is where ego must live in balance with humility — we will always have more to learn, we will always need to listen beyond ourselves and our own assumptions. So no, I am not talking about the healthy sense of self that we all need. That is our own knowledge and recognition of who we are and what we do.
The trait of ga’a’vah — inflated ego — is one of two traits that must be uprooted, according to the rabbis, including Maimonides. The other is ca’as — anger. These two traits were considered the masters of all bad personality traits. When you get angry, it is often your inflated ego leading you there, a sense that someone or something isn’t behaving toward or respecting us the way we deserve, the way we feel we’re owed.
Does this sound familiar? I have heard it all. I have seen it all. As a result, I know it all. Every success I did on my own. Anything that didn’t go well? Surely that is someone else’s fault. The inflated ego is one divorced from humility…and from reality. Rambam considered the inflated ego to be like a bent young sapling — for him, there was no middle ground, he felt that you must bend it severely in the opposite direction, humbling and abasing yourself, to get it to stand straight again.
Korach showed many signs of egotism — so many sermons in there — but here are three in particular that we must be mindful of.
Number 1: He always had to be right. When Korach challenged Moses, he wasn’t coming from a place of curiosity or respectful questioning. He came loaded for bear with a series of accusations and demands. “Who do you think you are? The whole congregation of Israel is holy!” He never once considers that he might be wrong, that he might be making a mistake. He is right, Q.E.D., and everyone who disagrees is wrong. The truth is that Aaron and Moses were chosen by Adonai to be the leaders. He can’t see beyond his own resentment and anger. The need to be right despite the reality of a situation is a clear sign of unchecked ego. If the egotist is challenged, he may lash out or punish those who dared to question. Often, if the egotist IS proven wrong, he’ll say, “well, that was thanks to the foolish people around me. I didn’t do anything wrong.” That will be as disconnected from reality as the rest.
Number 2: He let resentment build up. Moses was chosen to be the Israelite leader back at the burning bush in Exodus 3. Aaron and his family were selected to be the priests in Exodus 28, just 3-4 months after they left Egypt. Now, after a year of wandering, now Korach brings up his accusations? Yes. This is because egotists cannot let go. They hold onto resentments and slights. They live in the past, stewing over even the most inconsequential things. They will remember something that you did a year ago, two years ago. Something that your grandfather did to his grandfather.
We all know people like this. Humility is the willingness to let something go and move on. Yes, we are allowed to be angry at times, that is a perfectly valid reaction to abuse or an insult. Trust me, I’m half Irish, I get it. But then, over time, we can let it go. We really can. Yes, it’s hard. It can be challenging. But holding on for months and years is just your ga’avah, pride and ego. Believe me, it is never worth it.
Number 3: He needed constant recognition. You might not know this but Korach and his family already had very important jobs as Levites. The Kohathites were the ones to whom the most sacred objects of the Mishkan were entrusted during the journeys. They covered the holy objects with blue cloths and transported them by hand. But being a shlepper? Well, that wasn’t enough for Korach.
People with huge egos need constant validation and affirmation, they need to hear of their wonderfulness again and again. Nu, you didn’t say anything about my schlepping, was it not good enough for you? Am I chopped liver? It’s a passive-aggressive move, and if it doesn’t work, then the egotist has even more to seethe over. If you don’t give them that praise, you are going to hear about it. Maybe not today, maybe not for years, but you will hear about it.
Ironically, this need for constant affirmation is a sign of low self-esteem. Think about Lucy in Peanuts. Obnoxious. Bossy. All ego. But in one strip she is overcome with self-loathing and cries, “there’s no single reason why I should go on living on this Earth!” Heady stuff for a comic strip! This type of ego, this bravado, is a cover for the lack of an intrinsic sense of self-worth. Nothing is enough, nothing will ever be enough.
So what one trait must we cultivate to prevent unchecked ego? It’s the quality of anavah — yes, you guessed it, humility — and we have Moses to show us the way. When the rebels came screaming at him what did he do? He fell on his face in humility and sought God’s guidance. Maybe Korach was right. Maybe I’m not supposed to be the leader after all. Remember, he never wanted this job! He didn’t raise his staff and smite the rebels down on the spot. He didn’t even argue the truth that he was appointed by God. He simply said, “let us let God decide, you have gone far enough.”
Mesorah, tradition, teaches us that Moses was the most humble person who ever lived and will ever live. No one before or since will have this ability to nullify him or herself to his degree. He is a role model, something to which we can aspire. And we must.
May each of us strive to know and recognize ourselves — who we are and what we do. May we stand firm in that knowledge and understanding, and in balance, may we strengthen our sense of anavah, that deep humility, for the bountiful blessings we are granted in this world.