Let Your Light Shine

Last Friday, my daughter Annabel graduated from high school. It was a beautiful night…in between the rainstorms. It was a lovely ceremony—most of the speeches were presented by students, not administration thank heavens.

Of course, one speech was given by the valedictorian, the student with the highest GPA in a class of 133. He was a poised and accomplished young man heading off to Notre Dame. The salutatorian, the next highest GPA, is going to Harvard. I was genuinely happy for these students and for their families, bright futures ahead of them at some great schools.

But after a few such speeches and awards, after praise for where this student is going and that, I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking “okay, okay, enough” and reminding myself that my daughter is blessed and talented in so many ways as well. We’ve all had moments like that, haven’t we?

Some Torah scholars actually teach that awards shouldn’t be given in schools as they simply foment envy and comparison. And really, they’re not wrong.

Jealousy is one of the hardest character flaws to overcome. No one is immune, not a single one of us. It always seems someone else has more, right? A bigger house, a cleaner house, a perfect house. Maybe a fancier car, a second house, a better vacation. You see them on Facebook and think, “why not me?”

Today we see Instagram influencers and people with levels of wealth that were unthinkable to our parents and grandparents—if not unattainable. Over the top money. But of course there is the tenth commandment, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s possessions. 

More to the point, in Deuteronomy 26:11 we read “And you shall be happy with all the good that God has given you and your household.” Our sages teach us in Pirkei Avot that three things remove us from the world, “envy, lust and [the desire for] honor.” They not only destroy our happiness in this world but the rabbis teach that they keep us from the world to come. 

This week we read about one of the most jealous people in the entire Bible. Korach. The first thing to know about him was that he had the spirit of prophecy—he was able to see his descendants singing in the Temple. He had gone with the elders to see God on Mt. Sinai—he was a wise and esteemed person. He was not an average Israelite guy just sitting around his tent with some goats. So what happened? Rashi explains it to us in more detail: 

“And why did Korach choose to rebel against Moshe? He was envious of the princeship of Elitzafan, the son of Uziel, whom Moshe had appointed prince over the children of Kehat by the express command of Hashem. Korach said: the brothers of my father were four, as it is stated ‘and the sons of Kehat, etc.’ (Shmot 6:18), Amram the first born: his two sons received high office, one a king and the other a High Priest. Who is fitting to receive the second? Is it not I, who am the son of Yitzhar, who is second to Amram? Yet he appointed as prince the son of his brother, the youngest of all of them! Therefore I will rebel against him, and nullify his words” [22] (Rashi on Bamidbar 16:1).

To clarify, Amram was the father of Moses, Miriam and Aaron. Moses was the “king” and Aaron the high priest. Korach  as the child of the second brother, was in his mind, due a position. But Korach’s younger cousin was appointed chieftain ahead of him. Rather than being content with his lot and with what Adonai had ordained, it ate him up. Even great and elevated people like Korach can fall prey to envy and jealousy. Perhaps he felt that he was somehow above this flaw, that the negative effects wouldn’t hurt him. But, of course, he was very wrong and it would spell his doom. No one is safe from the dangers of jealousy and the destruction it brings into our lives.

Jealousy corrupts your mind, envy twists your heart. It puts you in place of God and destroys happiness—yours and other’s. You become warped by thinking that YOU deserve that raise, YOU deserve that praise, YOU deserve that Instagram-worthy trip around the world. 

But. You never know the story of that person’s life, you can never know the entirety of it. They may have a new car and cry themselves to sleep. They may jet around the world and yet be sick with worry about their children. You simply cannot know. 

Often, when I log into Facebook or Instagram, I see photo after photo, video after video, of people with spotless kitchens straight out of Dwell Magazine, they’re restocking immaculate refrigerators and pantries—yes, I am jealous! How do they do this!? Where do they have the time? How do they live these “perfect” lives with no dirty dishes?

Seriously. I have three daughters, there are a lot of dirty dishes…

But one day, one of these people posted a video where they showed an immaculate kitchen…and then they said, ‘Now I’m going to show you the rest!” The camera turns to reveal one countertop covered with junk, everything they’d shoved out of the way to create the illusion. Because that’s all it was, an illusion of perfection. What you see from most people online isn’t always real. We have got to remember this.

Envy doesn’t improve your lot, giving in to jealousy doesn’t change your life. And looking at someone who does something you wish you could do as well—or better—why not relax and focus on your special talents, your abilities, your gifts?

Blowing out their candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.

Traditionally Judaism teaches that God has given you everything you need. Who is truly rich? One who is happy with his lot. As is stated in Psalms 128:2: “If you eat of toil of your hands, fortunate are you, and good is to you”; “fortunate are you” in this world, “and good is to you” in the World to Come. Complaining is considered a lack of emunah, a lack of faith. Look at what you have. Look at all the gifts you can bring. 

We are also commanded to sing a new song to God—a song that only we can sing. No two voices are the same. No two songs are the same. You are a unique creation, and your job is not to look at what everyone else has, but to develop yourself, to be the best version of yourself.

There’s the famous story Martin Buber told about Rav Zusya: On his deathbed he began to cry uncontrollably and his students and disciples tried hard to comfort him. They asked him, “Rabbi, why do you weep? You are almost as wise as Moses, you are almost as hospitable as Abraham, and surely heaven will judge you favorably.” Zusya answered them: “It is true. When I get to heaven, I won’t worry so much if God asks me, ‘Zusya, why were you not more like Abraham?’ or ‘Zusya, why were you not more like Moses?’  I know I would be able to answer these questions.  After all, I was not given the righteousness of Abraham or the faith of Moses but I tried to be both hospitable and thoughtful. But what will I say when God asks me, ‘Zusya, why were you not more like Zusya?’

Korach didn’t want to be more like Korach. He wanted to overthrow Moses and Aaron. He wanted what his cousin had and was willing to burn everything down to get it. 

When Moses heard this challenge, what did he do? Did he raise his staff? Did he bring down lightning? Did he summon guards? No. He fell on his face. Torah tells us he was the most humble man who ever lived—and he became even more humble. He let Adonai decide. He became even more Moses. 

And what was Korach’s ultimate punishment? The earth opened up and swallowed him and all those who were near him, women and children too. One midrashic interpretation was that this doesn’t mean literally the earth — but rather his possessions. It was the material world which destroyed him. He was trapped in this world. No hope for the next. The spiritual heights to which he once ascended were no longer available to him. He was buried alive. 

Not everyone is going to be the valedictorian. Not everyone is going to go to Harvard. Not everyone is going to spend summers in Greece or Australia or wherever. But all of us have visions and talents that are unique gifts from God. Every one of us can be better versions of ourselves. So praise those who achieve. Clap for those amazing kids. Appreciate the talents of others. Build others up. 

Let your light burn brighter in the dark.

And let all of our lights shine…together.